| home / internet / writing / grammar |
 
[next] |
|
|
Why is EGG capitalized? Because it’s my new pet name for all this stuff I am throwing at you. EGG stands for Enlightened Grammar Geek. If you’re getting sick of these grammar and style articles, then don’t read them! It only takes a millisecond to hit the DEL key. HEY! Think twice before you do so. True, I could not care less (yes, it is correct, if I said, "I could care less." then there is room for me to care even less. In this case, there’s no room to grow) if you write sloppy e-mails or blogs ( http://www.webreference.com/new/webedit.html ). But many readers and I are tired of gasping and pulling hair while reading ghastly content on Web sites. You don’t want to be sued for causing alopecia, do you? Go look it up if you don’t know what that means.
http://www.webreference.com/new/webedit.html
http://www.blogger.com
http://www.meryl.net/blog ( a long abandoned blog for people who
( gasp! ) can’t get enough of Meryl )
http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=alopecia
First, I never say I am perfect. I don’t have a Ph.D. in English or any degree in English, but I do have a few degrees: a BA and 98.6*F ( on most days ). Hey, sometimes it requires an ordinary commoner like me to help EGGers make sense of it all. Anyway, I was KO’d in the 1st round of the "assure - ensure - insure" match and fell victim to the confusion. Plus, Be prepared for "British invasion" and I don't mean the Beatles.
You ask, "What was Mer-ryl’s incorrect statement?" ( Sigh ) In my original version of "It’s Grammar Stylin’ Time, Kids!" http://www.webreference.com/new/grammar/ I wrote, "I'm writing this article to assure that you write well." Remarkably intelligent WebReference reader Brian Wold brought this embarrassment to my attention. He has been awarded the first EGG Lifetime Member honor ( Applause! Applause! ). My husband, of all people, cleared up the whole 'sure mess in one simple sentence: "Use assure when referring directly to people and use ensure when referring to objects." I think I made it pretty clear when to use "insure."
My second error occurred when, referring to British English, I said "use punctuation on the outside of double quotes." I received feedback from various experts in British English in the form of stinging wrist slaps. They explained to me that punctuation goes inside double quotes, just like in American English. I will be sure to punish my sources for the misinformation. If you know of a good British/American English reference that explains the differences, please e-mail me the details! The winner will get my thanks. What did you expect? This article doesn’t pay the bills. Enough of that, I want my heartburn to go away and my ego to stop deflating.
If I have not already lost you with my tiny imperfections, then fellow GASPers, I am proud to present you with more weaponry to fight the Battle of Non-Grammarians. Just for fun, this week we're launching the Enlightened Grammar Geek contest. Find the mistake I've hidden in this week's article (original article, typo, grammar, or punctuation) and you win a EGG Lifetime Membership and your name in my next installment.
One of the most cloying things is when people use apostrophe ‘s’ to give an object more of the same. How hard can it be to figure out when to use "its" vs. "it’s?" Come on now! All you have to do is read the sentence and then instead of saying "its," say, "it is" or "it has" and see if it makes sense? Try it:
Its idiotic to leave out the apostrophe in this sentence!
So which is it? If you said "its," then stop reading this and go to remedial school. This is for the highly gifted WebReference readers. ( Am I brownnosing enough? ) The same rule applies to "who’s." Try this again with "you’re" ( say, "you are" ) and "your."
It's time to test you; try filling in the blanks.
_____ reading this fabulous article on ________ computer.
If you filled the first blank with "you’re," and the second with "your," then congratulations you may continue reading. When using "your," you’re using the possessive form of "you." Therefore, the item after "your" should belong to the person to whom you’re addressing. If you missed the question, then ( rolling eyes ) never mind, I am keeping my mouth shut.
http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000219.htm
Uh-uh, it is not "do’s" and "don’t’s." In "It’s Grammar Stylin’ Time, Kids!" http://www.webreference.com/new/grammar/ I had to admit Microsoft was right. Now, I have the opportunity to say IT IS WRONG! WRONG! W-R-O-N-G! In typing "don‘ts," MS Word automatically changed my word to "don’t’s" with two apostrophes. Furthermore, when I type "do’s" it gives me the squiggly green line to indicate an error. I right mouse click over the squiggly and Word suggests only one replacement: "do do." Well, I say, "do do" to MS!
Mr. Do and Ms. Don’t do not own a dagnabbed thing. Therefore, skip adding the apostrophe, though you still need it to represent "do not" in "don’t."
Example of what NOT to do: http://www.microsoft.com/mindshare/korner/dosanddonts.asp
| home / authoring / writing / grammar / grammar |
[next] |
This article originally appeared in the Jan. 18, 2001 edition of the WebReference Update Newsletter.
| ||||||||||||||||||||
